Dale Earnhardt Jr. loves BIG MO’s!

Gayest candy bar ever. Seriously. Dale Earnhardt Jr. just released these fabulous new candy bars called BIG MO’. Really? Really.

From his Web site:

What is Big Mo’? Sure, it’s a candy bar, but it’s also everything that Dale Jr. loves—including chocolate, peanut butter and caramel. Big Mo’ is racing. The way you need it like oxygen, because it’s in your DNA and if you’re not around it, you can’t keep going. Big Mo’ is your buddies. Hanging out ‘til all hours of the night crackin’ jokes, playing pool and just kicking back and having a good time like you always do. Big Mo’ is being true to yourself. When you get right down to it, that’s the only thing that matters—doing what you love because you love it and not needing any other reason.

Of course it’s King Sized.

Source: Towleroad 

‘Married with Children’ do Spring Break

“Married with Children” is the greatest show of all time. For reals. Who can forget the he-man woman haters club or those wacky neighbors or that perfect shoe store. Bon-Bons! Ah!

Let’s take a little va-cay of our own and travel to Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break… “Married with Children” style…

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Story of the day: Hair jizz

“Woman suing airline over flight incident”

That headline does not do the story justice.

FORT WORTH, Texas, March 15 (UPI) — A 21-year-old Texas woman is suing American Airlines for allegedly not protecting her from a man who masturbated near her on a recent flight.

The woman, whose identity has not been released to the public, alleges airline employees did not act appropriately when a man sat next to her while she slept on a March 19 flight and began to masturbate, the Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram said Saturday.

The woman’s $200,000 lawsuit alleges that when she awoke on the flight to Los Angeles, she found the man masturbating and “a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair.”

Check out the full story *HERE*.

Girls gone wild: Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana

Speaking of hot tranny messes… here’s Miley Cyrus and Mandy Jiroux doing a home video special. The boys at Disney are probably emailing her right now to delete this mess. No Hannah Montana — NO!

Hillary Clinton in ‘da house

Shut the front door. These Hillary Clinton supporters made a little rap for her. Some advice — next time, use more cowbell.

You know homefry was totally jammin’ out to Jennifer Lopez’s “Let’s Get Loud.” He probably looked better in this silver dress too. :)

Who did it better: Paula Abdul vs. Britney Spears

Battle of the animation all-stars! It’s Paula Abdul’s 1990’s “Opposites Attract” vs. Britney Spears’ 2008 (just released Wednesday) “Break the Ice”.

Paula’s vid:

Brit-Brit’s vid:

Shoot — who are we kidding? PAULA WINS! She actually showed up for her video shoot. You know she spent at least 5 days workin’ on that green screen. And that’s hard shit.

‘American Idol’s’ Danny Noriega does Ellen

“American Idol” reject Danny Noriega sashayed his way onto Ellen today. Sing it girl! *Finger snaps*
Check out his performance *HERE*.

Who did it better: Danity Kane vs. Chris Crocker

Danity Kane just released their video from “Damaged” — their first single off of “Welcome to the Dollhouse.” Too bad Chris Crocker already did a video for it a few days back.

Who worked it better? The moves, the make-up, the outfit…

Danity Kane:

Chris Crocker:

Tell your story on MTV!

I received this email in my inbox today. Let me know if you apply!

Dear GAY.COM members,

Want to be on MTV? On behalf of our friends at MTV’s True Life series, we’re extending a casting call to all GAY.COM members. “I Live Another Life on the Web” will feature profiles of people, from varied backgrounds, leading alternate lives online. Is what you do secret? Are you “out of the closet” online, but “in the closet” in real life?

If you are between the ages of 18 and 30, and fit what MTV’s looking for, email us at: mtvtruelife@gay.com with your story. Please be sure to include your name, location, phone number and a photo, if possible. Good luck!

Doing the wedgie dance

Honey, if you need to “shake it out” that much — maybe you need to get the glue out of your ass. Seriously.

Check out this ad *HERE* from Hanes and watch as this girl tries to shake out a wedgie.

Gayer than gay: Rosie + Kathy Griffin

What I wouldn’t give to be the meat in this fabulous sandwich. Ms. Rosie O’Donnell and Kathy Griffin did this video blog together. Funny how they mentioned the Barbara Walters astro glide story because Rosie mentioned it in D.C. on the “True Colors” tour and then Kathy mentioned the story during one of her live shows I checked out. Apparently, astro glide is the hot shit right now.

Check out the video blog *HERE*.

And yes, I’m so gay that I went to the Cyndi Lauper “True Colors” tour AND a Kathy Griffin show in the same year. Don’t be jealous.

Food Court, the musical

 Improv Group “ImprovEverywhere” created this vid:

From http://www.ImprovEverywhere.com, 16 agents create a spontaneous musical in a food court in a Los Angeles mall. Using wireless microphones and the mall’s PA system, both their voices and the music was amplified throughout the food court. All cameras were hidden behind two-way mirrors and other concealed structures.

Bitches be crazy. Singin’ crazy.

BREAKING NEWS: Spitzer linked to prostitution ring

 You think the prostitution ring the NY governor is linked to looks something like this?

I hope it has more diamonds. And more lipstick kisses!

Read the story *HERE* 

BREAKING NEWS: Michael Lucas *BLOWS* it

Gay porn legend Michael Lucas *POPPED* into Fort Lauderdale’s male flesh emporium — Boardwalk — to celebrate his birthday. In the pic above, you can see Lucas on *TOP* of the bar, semi-excited and getting ready to *BLOW* out his candles.

Gay goddess/ superstar DJ Chi Chi LaRue was *ON HAND* to make sure there was plenty of *CREAMY*, *WHIPPED* frosting to go around.

SNL goes from hot mess to fierce

Tranny! Hot Mess! Fierce! Hot Mess! Tranny!

My boy panties manties are filled with joy. Pure joy!

Check out this fierce SNL skit *HERE*, showing a new Bravo show: “Fierce, The Hot Mess Makeover Show”.

Hot Hot Mess of the Day!

I was at the beach earlier today and saw these “Butt Bags.” I think they were made so people don’t throw their ciggies on the beach. I think people are using them to cover up their swamp ass.

I know I don’t want to wipe my swamp ass on my beach towel! The worst is when it’s right above your crack and you can’t get it. Ugh. I hate that.

I’m headed back to the beach to stock up on “Butt Bags” before all the Spring Breakers get to them. Pull out AND down!

Jesse McCartney’s new video

Here is the yummy Jesse McCartney’s new music video for ‘Leavin’.

What do you think folks — love it or leave it?

P.S. Is he 18 yet? Just askin’ :)

Don’t go naked in a Florida lake

Naked man who lost arm to gator tempts one again

Hot Hot Mess of the Day!

Something tells me that Madonna has been in this position before. All up on the ropes.

I had to cover her lady bits with the “Muy Caliente! Pepper” because I didn’t you to see her garden. If your vag was a veg, what veg would it be? Discuss!

Source: D-Listed

Bigger Sally: Brett Favre or Danny Noriega?

Seriously boys: Pass the tissues, we’ve all got issues. All over the boob tube yesterday were these two tear-jerkers.

Question to you: Who was the bigger sally? Brett Favre who announced his retirement from the Greenbay Packers …

Or Danny Noriega who was given the boot from American Idol …

Who am I kidding. I’ld comfort both of these boys.